riverside. splash. feet. yayyyy. spray. occupational hazard: damp skirt. pumps.

There's a Tolstoy quote, 'Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way', but I think that goes for almost everything. There are endless, endless ways to be sad, and I've talked about mine before. There's not a whole lot you can do about clinical depression, because the nature of the beast is that you can't character-develop your way out of it by learning to live in a Zooey Deschanel movie... unless there's a Zooey Deschanel movie in which she smuggles vast amounts of Prozac across international borders. But there also comes a point in which your body is starting to put itself back together, and that's the point where you have to test your own strength again. Today, I can make dinner. Today, I can work out. Tonight, I can pick up my vegan leather jacket and drink Darjeeling-based cocktails in a bar hidden behind a bookcase in Nagasaki (yeah boy).

Today, go for a walk. 

If there's a river, go to the river. 

If it's sunny, sit in the sun. 

Take off your shoes and splash about in the water like a three year old, because you're an adult and it's your adult prerogative to act like a three year old.

Let your feet (and your skirt... cause your skirt is gonna get wet) dry in the warmth.

Head home. Drink iced green tea and put on the air con and waste time on Pinterest.

You're getting better. You're gonna get better still.


  1. It's incredible to me that you describe depression and recovery so vividly, because I've felt it in so many shapes and forms and never seen anyone do the subject justice. It's those little efforts that strike home, because while they feel so massively important to you, they are pretty much nothing to others. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to just do things. I think having gone through depression can make you appreciate life like you never would otherwise, though.
    The reason I started my first blog was simply to document and hold onto the feeling of good days in between my major depressive episodes. It never worked, of course. To me, depression is this kind of bafflingly useless lens that turns everything you see to absolute shit.

  2. I wish you good health and happy thoughts.

    /Mette from Denmark, Europe.


© papillon.Maira Gall